Gabrielle and I have been having a few struggles at home the past few days. It feels weird to write about such personal matters, but the point of this whole podcast/blog endeavor is to document our journey and give an account of our lives as we do it.
Without sharing too many details, it has been expressed by one of us that there is a perceived lack of intimacy and affection between us lately. This is not a fun topic of conversation as it is very sensitive, and can quickly lead to feeling of rejection and inadequacy.
Gabrielle bought us copies of The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Campbell, and we proceeded to read the first few chapters together last night, discussing our feelings at the end of each chapter. I am hopeful this practice will help us to understand each other better and resolve this conflict.
Unfortunately, this temporary rift has had an impact on our momentum for the podcast/blog lately. Can’t really focus on the “fun” things when all isn’t right at home. We have made several recording sessions for Episode 1, but I need to spend a lot of time editing and assembling to make it ready for release. We committed to July 1st, which is now only 20 days away. I haven’t been able to find this time yet.
We also need to get cracking on recording the second episode if we are to release on our agreed two-week timeline. I’m hoping that the recording and editing process will get easier with more practice.
To be honest, I’m starting to wonder lately if maybe we bit off more than we can chew. We have a lot going on in our lives without the show and dreams of living aboard, and our relationship is still pretty new too. I’m starting to get afraid that we are going to pull the plug on this whole thing. If so, I’d rather do it sooner than later, before getting into it any deeper. I think it is embarrassing to start something like this then not see it through. I know there are a lot of podcasts (or podcast attempts) out there like that – with big talk, a handful of episodes, and radio silence ever since – but I really don’t want to be one of them. If we’re going to do this, I want to really do it, or else I’d rather bow out quickly before we get rolling.
Pride and ego are a bitch.